It’s Okay, I’ve Got Plenty of Time…
Procrastination. A five syllable word for waiting till the last minute.
I never saw myself as a procrastinator. Probably because most things came easy for me when I was younger, so the sooner they were done, the better. Looking back, however, I can see now that there were a number of times I procrastinated. Usually they had to do with big projects or papers for a class.
It wasn’t until I reached my last year of undergrad that I really noticed a change. I think it had to do with the fact that I was nearing graduation and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, or where on earth I was going to get a job. So I did what any smart person would do… I went on for a Masters in an area I still can’t explain in under 30 words (or so my fiance reminds me every time I talk about it).
It continued to go downhill from there. Now, I notice my procrastination in lots of different ways: doing the dishes, cleaning, getting something done for work, calling someone to take care of something, dealing with a problem, calling someone to talk, going to the doctors, etc, etc.
And I ask myself, why? Why wait so long to take care of things?
In an ideal world, I’d use the old “Well, I work better under pressure.”
But that would be a lie.
Waiting to take care of things stresses me out. Makes me nervous, affects me physically. I’m not really sure what the real answer is, but I have some theories. Perhaps it’s fear of failure. Maybe it’s fear of being rejected. It could be fear of success (which is my fiance’s choice). Or maybe it’s fear of the unknown (a personal favorite of mine).
Procrastinating doesn’t make me feel good. On the contrary, it makes me feel stupid, unhappy, and useless.
I’m on a quest to figure out why I procrastinate, in the hopes that it’ll help me begin to tackle my fear of (*fill in the blank*) so I can be a healthier, happier me.
Any suggestions?
February 22, 2010 at 3:09 pm | Health | 1 comment
I’ve always found it amusing that procrastination began with “pro”. “Pro” usually meaning that it the following had some sort of positive connotation. Sure, there is the initial appeal of instant gratification but as for the rest of it, there should be no “pro” in “procrastination”. There is genearlly nothing else positive about it.
For me, procrastination is a direct result of the fear of actually tackling the task itself. It’s over simple stuff mostly like not making that doctors appointment that I’ve been meaning to reschedule (note to self: schedule that doctors appointment tomorrow). It cascades into other things. I don’t want to schedule it when I first wake up because I hate having sleepy voice on the phone. It’s unprofessional and disorganized. So I wait until later, when I’m tied up with other things until it’s just too late. But beneath it all, I know what I’m avoiding. I don’t want to go to the doctor’s because then I have to find a sitter and make travel arrangements. Then, what if it snows and I have to reschedule anyway? Then I’ve taken a day off of work that I didn’t have to and messed up my whole week. Then I have to reschedule again and I’ll look flakey. Then the task becomes monumental, like I’m running out medication and don’t know what to do, etc, etc. (another note to self: must request off next Monday for a doctor’s appointment).
The anxiety mounts. Typically, I embody a “just do it” attitude. Whatever the outcome, just do it. Just do it now, and get it over with. At work, I know that if I power through my day, I can relax for the last hour. It’s better than procrastinating and having to crush six hours worth of work into two. Being proactive cuts the anxiety. If you have too much time to think, then you’re not doing enough. So just jump in! Skip the inbetween and see how it goes!